You never know

As most of you know I have been in school for the past year and a half or so.  I have learned a ton in that time.  I have become a slightly different person...for the better I believe.  I don't have experience with any other sort of Masters program so I can't honestly compare, but I really think that the nature of my program is different than most.  I think that by being in the counseling program, being taught by counselors, and having all my peers having a counseling frame of mind is much different than say getting your MBA or masters in Biology.

 

VS.

 

 One of the most important things that is stressed about my program is getting to know yourself.  You have to figure who you are and where you stand to be able to help others.  So in this program you do a lot of self-reflection and sharing with classmates.  One of our favorite phrases is...we need to process that...or how are you processing that?  Until this program I've never had a teacher come into class and ask me how I felt about the reading we did for the week.  I know for some this style of teaching would drive you crazy, but for me it is perfect.  I absolutely love it and have enjoyed getting to know myself better and understanding others a bit more clearly.

While I have learned so much in this past year, the absolute most important thing I think I have learned is that you never ever know what someone else is going through.  It seems like time and time again I walk into a classroom and think..."wow that person really has it all together."  They are so pretty, skinny, they are wearing cute clothing or after they introduce themselves they seem to have lots of experience and how could I possibly compare.  I am twice their age and haven't done near the good they have in the world.  Then out of the blue during a class they reveal something about themselves.  I don't know if students in the counseling program have gone through more than the average population, or if I'm just learning more about the people around me more than I normally would, but wow...there is a lot going on in every single person's life.

I have been blown away time and time again about what people are going through, the pain they are experiencing or have experienced and and amazed at their desire to help others.  It has definitely changed my view on others.  When I start being jealous of someone because it seems like they have it all together, I now start thinking about where is it that they are not perfect.  I used to think that some people just got to skip having major trials, but I have learned that is absolutely not true.  This past year I have met people who have or have had eating disorders, serious illnesses, depression, gone through abuse, lost loved ones to suicide, been deserted by loved ones, been rejected because of their sexual orientation, had prior drug or alcohol addiction or been close to someone with those addictions.  The list goes on and on, and I know this is only the surface, this is just what people are willing to talk about in class.  

I've also learned that not only does everyone have trials in their life and things they must go through, but that it is possible to get through these trials.  I am surrounded daily in school by people who have gone through something and come out the other side and now want to help others navigate through that same issue.  I am continually amazed at the resilience of people and how it is possible to keep moving on.  It doesn't mean that they have had their trial and now they are golden for the rest of their life...no, often the trials continue.  But it is possible to continue on...it is possible to keep moving.

So I am taking on a new look at people.  I'm starting to see the pain in people that they are trying so hard to hide.  I'm seeing the difference between really being happy and faking being happy.  I'm noticing that even when things look perfect on the outside, there is a possibility that they are not, and it isn't my job to judge what others may or may not be going through.  It is my job, as a human being, to be kind, loving and accepting and help when someone is struggling.  Instead of asking why on earth did so and so do that....I need to ask what might so and so be going through and how can I help?