What you don't know...can hurt you

It's amazing what has happened since I divorced and talked about my experiences.  I've learned I was not alone.  I was not the only one suffering in silence.  In fact I have had several friends tell me they were or are going through the same thing.  While we were good friends...we were both hurting, but not talking about it.  We could have become each others support, instead we hid behind a facade and lost the chance to figure out we were not alone.

How often do we do that?  With abuse or many other things...not talk about it and think we are all alone.  In fact, I'm finding it hard now to think of anything that could happen to me that could only happen to me...and not to anyone else in the world.  Perhaps if I were kidnapped by a deranged man in a monkey costume...but I'm willing to bet that has happened somewhere before.

My point is by being afraid to speak up, we stay alone.  We stay in the pain.  So many times I have been told by friends and clients that they were surprised at the support they received once they told someone what was happening.  Now I'm not saying to broadcast everything that has happened to you.  But when you tell someone you trust, you open yourself up to help, support, love and many other things you probably need.  By staying closed up you carry the entire load, when you share the load becomes so much lighter. 

There is risk involved in sharing.  I know from experience before I opened up I imagined all sorts of horrible things that would happen to me.  I'd say about 1% of those things happened.  And by sharing not only did I discover a world of support, I also headed off some terrible stuff that was said about me.  Because I had opened up and people knew my story, knew what was going on in my life, when rumors did start to fly, enough people knew the truth. Especially the people who mattered to me.

If you are in any sort of pain, from abuse, a loss, or any other imaginable circumstance...maybe you can find someone you trust.  Or if you can't trust anyone...perhaps find a counselor (they have to keep it confidential) and start talking.  Try sharing your burden.  Stop carrying it alone...I promise you...someone else is going through exactly what you are going through.  You never know...it could even be a close friend.