Letting Go

There are so many things that are hard to let go.  It can run from simply not being able to throw out that pretty ribbon because you might need it some day to letting go of a relationship that is unhealthy.  I have dealt with both of those issues and many more in between.  Why is it that I get a piece of ribbon on a wedding invitation or present and think I must hang onto it because I could use it for something.  Then when that perfect opportunity to use it comes up I hesitate because it's the only piece I have and I may want to use it for something better later on.  I do that all the time, not use something because I might need it later.  So when later never comes I have a houseful of stuff I might need someday.  It's a vicious cycle and I am trying to figure out how to let go.

I can let go of some things very easily.  I don't hold a grudge.  Even when I really want to I can't seem to hold onto a grudge.  I know that is generally a good thing, but there are times when it might help me to not make the same mistake over and over if I would at least remember what the consequences were going to be.  I also cannot seem to hold onto important papers.  Last week I lost my daughter's field trip form within about 10 minutes of receiving it.  I had to beg the teacher for a new one.  Another thing I am good at letting go of is my memory.  You can tell me your name and I will forget it by you have finished saying it.  I have no memory of what happened yesterday and have to work really hard to remember appointments.  Thank goodness for my phone and the alarms I can set.  I have reminders set for all sorts of events.  If you really want me to be somewhere make sure I put it in my phone.  And watch me do it too, otherwise if I just tell you I will put it in there you can be guaranteed I will forget.

But there are many things I cannot let go.  I keep all sorts of papers (just not the important ones apparently).  I have a hard time throwing food away (as noted by the various science experiments growing in the back of my fridge).  I'm okay throwing it away after it gets moldy, but for some reason it needs to sit in my fridge and grow that mold before I am willing to throw it away.  I have a hard time letting go of clothing.  I always think that someone else may get some use out of it so I don't want to toss the clothes.  But then I don't just want to give them to a charity for some reason.  I want to hand them to someone personally that could use them.  They can throw them away and it won't hurt my feelings, I just can't seem to do the deed.  I have many items in my house that need to be tossed but I cannot seem to let go.

Something I have noticed that a lot of people hold onto is toxic relationships.  I have several friends right now who have gone through or are going through a divorce.  Some are happy they are going to be divorced and others are devastated.  But even the happy ones have trouble letting go completely.  They know their lives are better now without that person, but they still cannot completely let go.  I understand because it took me a while to let go as well, but why does this happen?  Why do we as human beings have a hard time letting go of something or someone that is not a benefit in our lives anymore. 

I don't have any actual answers yet.  If I do I'll let you know what they are because I'll bet a lot of us would love to know why we cannot let go of things or people.  My guess would be we as humans like to be comfortable.  We hang onto what makes us comfortable whether it improves our lives or not.  It feels good to know there is a perfect piece of ribbon in my closet if I ever need it.  That is probably why I can never bring myself to use it because once I use it I don't have the security of it being there in my closet.  I may have a need arise and it won't be there for me.  I would have to go to the store and find some ribbon.  As for our relationships, many of us have invested a long time in them.  This is what we know and it's scary to think we have to go out in the world and start over.  I believe we hang onto those relationships because it feels better to know there is something there in the "closet" for us rather than having to go out to the "store" and make new friends and relationships.  But in the store there are many pieces of ribbon available and I'm sure to find a piece that is more perfect than the one in my closet would have been.  The same is true for relationships.  There are so many people to choose from and so much more opportunity to choose a relationship that was far better than the old one.  It may be uncomfortable at first, but the payoff is incredible.

So we are planning to move in the next few months.  It is my personal goal to see what I can let go.  I have worked really hard this past year to let go of a toxic relationship, now it is time to work on my stuff.  It's scary to let go of my stuff because I might not have the money to replace it if I wanted it again.  But if I could live in a smaller home because I had less stuff, then the money I would save would more than pay for when I had to buy something I really needed.  I would spend less time cleaning and organizing and not feel so weighed down by all my stuff.  I'm going to take baby steps and I'll keep you posted on how it goes.